Transcript [00:00] Before I went in, my COO said, "Jack, [00:01] I'm just letting you know, this this guy [00:03] is Israeli. He's very direct and might [00:05] ask you personal questions." I'm like, [00:06] "Yeah, I can handle it." And he said, [00:08] "No, but really, can you handle it?" And [00:09] I said, "Yeah, I can handle it." So, we [00:11] go in, we sit down, there's his chief of [00:12] staff, myself, and the COO, the four of [00:14] us, and he says, "Okay, whose project is [00:16] this?" I said, "Jack, it's great. How [00:18] many people? What's the budget?" Da da [00:19] da da da. [music] I'm firing statistics [00:20] at him, letting him know what it is. And [00:22] I said, "The askofa is you've got to [00:23] like be the change, you know, you want [00:25] to see in the world, thanks Gandhi. Uh [00:27] you know, you've got to put it into [00:28] action. It's not enough to know." He [00:29] goes, "Ah, so what are you doing to be [00:31] the change?" And I'm like, "Ah, here's [00:32] one of those questions." I'm like, I'm [00:34] telling him what I'm working on, the [00:36] tachyon, the musavat, and this and that. [00:38] And he says, "No, why are you single?" [00:40] And I was like, [00:41] >> [laughter] [00:42] >> Like, wasn't expecting that. And I said, [00:43] "I don't know why I'm single." [00:45] I don't know. He goes, "No, why are you [00:46] single?" Looking into my soul, you know. [00:48] And I'm like, [00:49] >> Do you ever feel that you know what's [00:51] best for you and you get confused when [00:53] Hashem messes up your plan? Well, Jackie [00:56] Glazier's plan to get married and start [00:58] a family did not go the way that she [01:00] planned it. But boy, was she happy that [01:03] she put her trust in Hashem. This [01:04] episode is in memory of Shimon Dovid ben [01:06] Akiva Shlema, Miriam Sara bas Yaakov [01:08] Moshe, and Sheindel bas Chaim Yehuda [01:11] Leib. You will hear from our good [01:13] friends at Kol Chabad, BYF Design, [01:16] Primal Crisps, JWed, We Olive This, and [01:19] El Al. Here we go. Jackie Glazier, also [01:23] Ariella Glazier, in the studio. We're [01:24] very excited to have both of you. I [01:25] don't know if Ariella is going to say [01:26] much on this podcast, but just her [01:28] presence here, I'm very excited about. [01:30] >> So, there's a few pivotal moments in [01:31] your life. Could you take us back to the [01:33] beginning that you grew up in Australia [01:36] and you weren't Orthodox at that time. [01:38] Could you tell us what life was like and [01:40] what your childhood was like? [01:42] >> Sure. [01:43] And I was actually born in Montreal, [01:44] Canada. [01:44] >> Oh. [01:45] >> Hence the Jackie is from Jacqueline, [01:47] French, Quebec. Jacqueline Nicole, and I [01:49] was the daughter of Holocaust survivor, [01:51] my father, who was from Poland. [01:54] And we were really living in Australia [01:56] from all of my life, but for 10 years he [01:58] was a doctor, lung doctor, and we went [02:01] to Montreal for his sabbatical. He was [02:03] with McGill University, and we went [02:05] there for 10 years, and during those 10 [02:06] years I was born. So, I was born in [02:07] Montreal, and then we went back when I [02:09] was five to Australia, to Sydney, [02:11] Australia, which is [02:13] a much smaller Jewish community, and I [02:15] was raised pretty much as a like like I [02:17] was not Jewish really, even though I [02:19] knew both my parents were Jewish. And we [02:22] had Hanukkah, and then some semblance of [02:24] Pesach, but that's it, not even Rosh [02:25] Hashanah, Yom Kippur. [02:27] And [02:28] life was great in the sense that I [02:30] didn't know what I didn't know, and I [02:32] was a psychologist after college, and I [02:35] thought, you know, my career was [02:36] peaking. I ended up doing the Today [02:38] Show, which was the same version that [02:41] you have here as the resident [02:42] psychologist, and I thought, great, [02:44] life's great, and we have this nudgy [02:45] relative, you know, everyone has at [02:46] least one in the family. [02:48] And she said, go to Israel, go to [02:49] Israel, and I had no interest. I was so [02:51] disconnected from anything Jewish. Uh [02:54] there was probably a survival mechanism [02:56] of my father. Like, let's just get as [02:58] far away as possible. [03:00] Um and he hid in basements. So, he he [03:02] did the Anne Frank thing, and and his [03:04] [clears throat] mother he was a baby and [03:06] his mother on the went on the run after [03:07] their whole family were killed in one [03:08] week, literally. Like a like a movie. [03:10] It's It's unfathomable. [03:12] And [03:14] at at the age of like 30, I resisted [03:16] this nudgy relative, who was very [03:18] culturally Jewish. [03:19] And I went around Europe with my [03:21] friends, and everything was great, and [03:23] then she saw it on my younger brother my [03:24] younger brother [03:26] was weak, and he gave in. He went to do [03:27] like a Birthright in Israel, and loved [03:30] it, and stayed on. Stayed at a Yeshiva [03:32] for a year, learning, and [03:34] and I was like, great, you do you, I'm [03:36] happy for you, you know, whatever. And [03:38] after he's slowly started becoming more [03:40] observant, and then when he became more [03:41] and more observant, and as he took on [03:43] everything, I freaked out. I said, oh my [03:45] gosh, he's joined some sort of cult. [03:47] >> [laughter] [03:47] >> But I had no idea what he was talking [03:48] about, and and I said, I better rescue [03:49] him. I better I better help him as my [03:52] the big sister does. supposed to be. [03:53] Little did [03:54] >> were into the cults. [03:55] >> Correct. And uh well, he really has the [03:58] the source of of of me following him to [04:00] Israel. I will say though, [04:02] I was doing, you know, today show with a [04:04] million viewers thinking I had my life [04:06] together, but I was saying things like [04:07] the way to happiness is to embrace who [04:09] you are and deep down I was a Jewish [04:10] woman not knowing what it meant to be a [04:12] Jewish at all. And I knew that I I felt [04:14] like a hypocrite. So, there was a part [04:16] of me eating away at me at that point. [04:18] Like, you don't even know what your core [04:20] identity is. And so that propelled me as [04:22] well. And uh I went to Israel and took [04:24] on all the rabbis and argued [04:26] a lot about lots of things and they had [04:29] really really really good answers. [04:31] And uh I realized a lot of the stuff I [04:33] believed in psychology, the the roots of [04:35] that was in Torah, actually. And was [04:37] blown away. And so decided to stay for a [04:40] while longer. [04:41] And as more and more and more went home, [04:43] packed up my life, went back on a [04:44] one-way ticket, ended up being there for [04:46] 8 years teaching at Neve Yerushalayim. [04:48] >> Hold on. I need a So, but like I had [04:50] imagined that today show was that dream [04:52] job. [04:52] >> It was. [04:53] >> And I understand you trying to find [04:55] yourself is very important, but it's [04:58] still very hard to give up that It's a [05:00] It's a really cool job, also. [05:02] >> It was really cool. I had a private [05:03] practice and and it was really cool [05:07] and I kind of have it had everything, [05:09] but I could feel there was something [05:10] missing if that makes sense. And [05:14] I don't know what it was. And my brother [05:15] took me to a rabbi's house for a Shabbat [05:17] meal, you know, and on the way home I [05:19] started bawling my eyes out. I didn't [05:20] know why. It wasn't sadness and I didn't [05:22] know why. And that happened about three [05:23] times over a longer period of time. [05:25] And I was like, "What the heck's going [05:27] on? We just had a nice meal with some [05:28] grape juice. Like, I don't get it." And [05:29] I was just remember just being really [05:31] affected by Shabbat. But I didn't know [05:34] why. And I was I'm really affected by [05:36] this and some level like, "I got to [05:37] check it out." And so, [05:39] I didn't intend to go for a long time. I [05:41] intended to go for a few weeks, 6 weeks, [05:43] whatever. Ended up being in Yom Tov [05:44] Glazer's class, which was hysterical. We [05:46] all laugh about that now. [05:47] [clears throat] [05:48] Thinking, "Oh, he's cool. Like he's a [05:49] cool rabbi. There are cool people who [05:51] are you know cuz I thought it was so [05:52] dorky, you know, with why I'm [05:54] embarrassed to say. But [05:56] yeah, it was really funny. And I found a [05:57] journal recently with like I just met [05:59] Yom Tov and Lea Glazer. They're so cool. [06:01] I really like them. I'm really drawn to [06:03] them." And it's just so funny reading [06:04] this 20 years later, you know. Anyway, [06:07] so I I think I just felt I don't know [06:11] where I got this from, but I had a deep [06:12] deep deep knowing that if you do [06:14] something for the right reason, for a [06:16] higher reason, a higher purpose, like go [06:18] to Israel to get close to God or explore [06:21] God and my roots, that it would only [06:24] come back as blessing. Like even though [06:25] it was scary to leave the Today show and [06:26] I had some moments of absolute freak [06:28] out. [06:29] Like what what are you doing? Like [06:31] definitely had that voice. Like [06:33] you are crazy. And they thought I was [06:35] crazy. Like that's the the team there. [06:38] It's just like, "Are you kidding me?" [06:40] Like they they thought I was like, "I [06:41] know I know I'm committing career [06:43] suicide." Like literally. [06:44] Um but I did have this belief that if I [06:47] if it could be created here, it could be [06:48] created anywhere. And you don't lose out [06:50] for choosing something that's right. You [06:52] don't lose out. It only comes back as [06:54] blessing. And I had a deep knowing at [06:55] least at that point about that thing. I [06:57] don't have it with everything. [06:58] And that's what happened. So I actually [07:01] left. I left for a while. I didn't know [07:02] how long. Wasn't [07:04] >> Were your parents alive at that at this [07:06] point? [07:07] >> My dad passed away when I was 17. [07:08] >> Oh. [07:09] >> From cancer. [07:10] And my mom was alive, but like she was [07:13] kind of let go already cuz my brother [07:14] was religious. So she was like, "Yeah, [07:15] okay, another another crazy kid. Okay, [07:17] great." Um but also on some level we [07:20] became better kids when we were more [07:22] aligned with Torah. [07:23] >> Thanks Hashem. You know, hey, it's in [07:25] your best interest. [07:26] >> She loved it on that level, you know. So [07:28] >> Wow. Okay. [07:29] >> it. [07:29] >> And and as you were getting more and [07:33] more religious, [07:35] did you [07:37] like start to have more complications [07:40] when it came to dating or was that [07:43] within itself a huge shift from you for [07:45] you because it's I don't know who you [07:47] were dating before and how did that [07:49] work? [07:50] >> I mean it's a completely different world [07:51] when I was in Israel. So it was [07:54] different countries, different worlds, [07:55] different, you know, [07:56] and [07:58] I needed a good 2 years to stabilize, [08:01] you know, and I say that to my clients [08:02] now that if you're dating of all places [08:04] of a give them a good 2 years to feel [08:05] solid and that's that's the minimum [08:07] really. So I needed 2 years and then [08:10] I just started dating in Israel which [08:11] was already a different world and it was [08:13] like the shidduch system I did find [08:15] quite difficult to adjust to which I [08:17] know you've had many conversations [08:18] about. [08:19] Let's go. [clears throat] [08:21] But I did I did find it very hard that [08:23] I don't want to go into all the [08:24] difficulties but I did find it very hard [08:26] to adjust to that and but then it just [08:28] wasn't happening and it wasn't happening [08:30] and it wasn't happening and we didn't [08:31] know why and it was just like I gave up [08:34] everything, I became observant, loved [08:36] Judaism, loved loved loved. I felt so [08:38] grateful that I felt like Hashem had [08:40] just plucked my brother and I out of [08:42] nowhere. Galus ship of Galus Sydney [08:44] Australia as much as I love Sydney and [08:45] love the Jews there. Like [08:47] how did that happen? Must be Siyata [08:49] Dishmaya on some level. Like it doesn't [08:51] make any sense whatsoever based on how [08:53] we were raised based except my father [08:56] was a genius. I can say that now but [08:58] he's not alive but a genius in in [09:00] medicine and science. He was a scientist [09:03] and he really gave us both a passion for [09:06] pursuing truth. [09:08] That meter was really in us of being [09:10] curious, not being scared of it and like [09:13] if it's true go for it. Like that that's [09:15] was his passion and um [09:19] and and I think that that probably led [09:21] us to to Torah, you know, eventually [09:23] seeing the MS for what it was. [09:24] >> So officially what age did you become [09:28] Orthodox? [09:29] >> When do you become Orthodox? [09:31] >> When [09:32] I don't know. [09:33] >> Right. [09:33] >> I don't know. [laughter] You tell me. I [09:34] I don't know. Maybe keeping Shabbos, I'm [09:36] not sure. [09:36] >> Right. So [09:37] >> Whenever you considered it. I I [09:38] >> So firstly I avoided that word like the [09:40] plague. I did not want to be Orthodox [09:43] and I avoid it now when I teach for cure [09:45] of purposes because it comes it's got a [09:47] bad rap. [09:47] >> Oh I I I it's funny cuz like my I used [09:50] to say like oh when you become religious [09:51] and my friend is like that's not PC like [09:53] they could have been religious before [09:54] just not the religion then I started [09:56] shifting Orthodox. So if you have a new [09:58] term yeah please. [10:00] >> Observant. [10:00] >> Yes that's much more neutral. [10:02] >> Okay. I'm [10:03] I'm progressing so. [10:04] >> Yeah so I I avoid religious and Orthodox [10:06] for the same reason generally. I mean [10:08] not now in the observant world. I'm just [10:09] saying not in the Orthodox world I just [10:11] did cure of 13 years so I was used to [10:13] it. Um but I became shomer Shabbos [10:16] probably around age 30 30 30 31 maybe [10:19] like you know dabbling and growing. [10:22] Uh and I had very wonderful teachers [10:24] that guided me in the process of growth [10:26] in a small steady way so I could sustain [10:29] it cuz it's a big problem a lot of [10:30] people get very inspired take on [10:31] everything and then rebound back. [10:33] Um and so [10:36] Uh I I and I was in Israel which is like [10:38] it's like you're riding on a cushion you [10:40] know it's very easy. The the test is [10:42] when you come back home and like what do [10:44] you have to keep every little decision [10:45] is a decision you know especially in [10:47] Sydney. [10:48] So I stayed in Israel for I mean I went [10:50] back and forth with visits but I stayed [10:51] there for eight years [10:52] but the last I was learning full time [10:54] for five years which was such a blessing [10:56] at my age at that age. I mean I [10:58] definitely had moments where I was like [10:59] what are you doing in the middle of your [11:01] life? [11:02] >> [snorts] [11:02] >> You're you're crazy and then you know [11:04] again my teachers were like no this is [11:05] not just for you you'll give back. [11:07] You'll you'll be using this for klal [11:08] Yisrael. [11:09] And it just felt right. I I definitely [11:11] am am an anomaly on every single stage [11:14] of life and every phase of life in every [11:15] way. I don't I didn't do I'm so outside [11:17] the box that that's not even threatening [11:19] like it's like [11:19] >> [laughter] [11:20] >> you know it's like it I there's no point [11:22] in trying to be in the box you know it's [11:23] like I I from the get go it was [11:25] everything was has been [11:28] just unique and um [11:31] which is pros pros and cons, you know, [11:33] to that. So, uh [11:35] I I was just so grateful that I Hashem [11:38] really I felt he saved us, you know, [11:39] based probably on some ancestor playing [11:42] praying and end up teaching in a very [11:44] usual line for 2 years. [11:46] Um which was also a blessing or not [11:48] planned, not intended. So, Hashem was [11:50] guiding me, you know, in this journey [11:53] in ways that I wasn't pursuing [11:55] necessarily. I didn't really know what I [11:56] was was going to do. I was going to go [11:57] back to Australia, do psychology, but [11:59] can't live there as a frum Jew so [12:01] easily. It's very very small. [12:03] Didn't want to move to Melbourne, which [12:04] is bigger. So, where am I going? Like I [12:06] don't have roots anywhere. I didn't [12:08] wasn't American. Like [12:10] And thank God I got sponsored to come to [12:12] America also for dating [12:14] cuz it wasn't happening in Israel and to [12:17] work in Jewish in outreach and cure of [12:19] here, and which I loved. It was such a [12:21] blessing and privilege to do. [12:23] Um and that's and the dating was better. [12:25] So, I I stayed in America and New York [12:28] for 8 years. [12:29] And it still wasn't happening. 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[16:44] At that point, was there was there [16:46] resentment to Hashem? Like I I I gave [16:48] him my whole life, I became and it maybe [16:50] it's better for me, but still like you [16:52] don't you're not having my back. [16:54] >> Are we going to go there? We're going to [16:55] go there? [16:56] >> If you want. I don't know. [16:57] >> Okay. Okay, I'm going to go there. [16:58] Yes, I felt betrayed. I felt betrayed [17:01] and and angry. I mean, not not I wasn't [17:04] bitter cynical, but I was I cuz I really [17:07] really felt the love from Hashem [17:09] becoming from the way I did. [17:11] And the hashgacha process was just so [17:13] insane that like I couldn't I couldn't [17:15] actually really believe that Hashem [17:17] didn't love me or was betraying me cuz [17:19] there was so much evidence to the [17:20] contrary. [17:22] But in this area, I felt abandoned. And [17:25] I couldn't understand how this could [17:27] happen that I had given up everything. [17:29] Not that Hashem needs me to. It wasn't [17:31] arrogant. It was just like I really gave [17:32] up everything for you. [17:34] And all I'm doing is helping your [17:35] children come back to you. That's what [17:37] all I want to put my energy to in Kiryat [17:40] Shemona your lost children come back to [17:41] you. And here I am with no like my [17:44] mother was not well so I was really her [17:45] parent at that point. With no parents. I [17:48] have one brother, no aunts, no uncles, [17:50] no cousins cuz of the Holocaust. And I'm [17:52] alone. Really, really alone. And I'm and [17:55] I'm I feel abandoned. And I was now at [17:57] this point [17:58] I was in my 40s. [18:00] You know, which is, you know, in the [18:02] Jewish world that's death, you know. So, [18:05] um I'm just being a little bit, you [18:06] know, [18:07] sarcastic. But but it is. I mean, and [18:09] and I but I felt abandoned. I felt [18:11] really, really abandoned. And uh and [18:13] that was really I think that [18:16] feeling abandoned [18:19] and which I obviously had a wound with [18:21] my dad died early. I probably had that [18:23] wound, too. But that was I mean, we do [18:24] project our By the way, that's a [18:26] fascinating concept that we project we [18:28] project our relationship with our [18:30] usually opposite sex parent onto Hashem. [18:32] Or often father figure often onto Hashem [18:34] if he's like father. [18:35] But uh that was the place I had to [18:38] wrestle [18:39] in myself. That was the beginning of the [18:41] Yeshua of building myself. Like it was [18:44] being left in the darkness looking back. [18:46] I didn't know it then. That the [18:48] wrestling with it built me. [18:52] In ways that you can't know when you're [18:53] in it. [18:54] >> Mhm. [18:54] >> And that's what happened. Um [18:58] And I wouldn't have it wouldn't have [19:00] happened had I not been in the darkness. [19:02] >> What what shifted? There's like a giving [19:04] up and saying Hashem, you just take [19:07] control and till that point you didn't. [19:09] >> the stronger the will the harder this [19:12] is. The letting go is, right? Which I [19:13] don't know. I have a very strong [19:14] personality, strong will. [19:16] And [19:18] it really happened. I mean, a lot of [19:20] people know my story as far as the There [19:21] was a There was a pivotal turning point [19:23] for me where I went into I still got [19:26] teary, sorry. Um where we where I I went [19:29] into I was working for Olami, which is a [19:31] Jewish outreach organization. Everyone [19:32] knows, yeah. And um [19:35] I was director of leadership [19:35] development, which was for young leaders [19:37] all around the world. [19:39] Which I loved. It was I'm so [19:41] blessed and grateful for this [19:42] opportunity to do that. And we went into [19:45] a big donor's office for funding. And I [19:47] was going in with the COO. And she's [19:50] Princess is moving. And uh [19:55] And I was really excited, but before I [19:56] went in, my COO said, "Jack, I'm just [19:58] letting you know that this guy is [19:59] Israeli. He's very direct. Uh can you [20:01] handle He's going to might ask you [20:02] personal questions." I'm like, "Yeah, I [20:03] can handle it." And he said, "No, but [20:06] really, can you handle it?" And I said, [20:07] "Yeah, I can handle it." And he said, [20:09] "Okay, so just warning you." I'm like, [20:11] "Okay." So, we go in, we sit down. [20:13] There's his chief of staff, myself, the [20:15] COO, the four of us. And he says, "Okay, [20:17] whose project is this?" I said, [20:18] "Jackie's great. How many people? What's [20:20] the budget?" Da da da da da. I'm firing [20:21] statistics at him, letting him know what [20:23] it is. And I said, "The hashkafah is [20:24] you've got to like be the change, you [20:26] know, you want to see in the world." [20:27] Thanks, Gandhi. Uh you know, you've got [20:29] to put it into action. It's not enough [20:30] to know. He goes, "Oh, so what are you [20:32] doing to be the change?" And I'm like, [20:33] uh here's one of those questions. I'm [20:35] like, "I'm [snorts] telling him what I'm [20:36] working on, bitachon and musar va'ad and [20:38] this and that." And he says, "No, why [20:41] are you single?" [20:43] And I was like, [20:43] >> [laughter] [20:45] >> Like, wasn't expecting that. And I said, [20:46] "I don't know why I'm single." [20:48] I don't know. He goes, "No, why are you [20:49] single?" Looking into my soul, you know. [20:51] And I'm like, "I don't know. I don't [20:53] know why I'm single." The other two were [20:54] just looking down at their lap like [20:56] really intensely. [20:57] And I'm like, [20:59] "I don't know." And he says, "No, you [21:00] know what you need to do?" And I'm like, [21:01] "What do I need to do?" Don't you love [21:03] these people with advice, you know. He [21:05] said, "You need to go home today, and [21:06] you need to tell Hashem I accept." [21:09] And he bangs the table, and I'm like, [21:10] "Accept what?" And he said, "You got to [21:12] accept. You tell Hashem, I accept [21:15] whatever you decide, no matter what it [21:16] is." [21:17] And that was the nakuda of bitachon that [21:19] I was struggling with. That deep deep [21:21] down inside myself, that no one really [21:23] knew about, but God knew. And put this [21:25] in words in this this person's mouth. [21:28] How I couldn't accept it. I just [21:30] couldn't accept what God was deciding [21:32] for me. But I knew it didn't make sense, [21:34] cuz I saw how much he loved me in other [21:36] areas, and that he was in my life. It's [21:37] not like I was disconnected. I just [21:40] couldn't accept it. So, when this [21:41] person, random CEO, says this to me, why [21:45] I don't why this had to be this person [21:46] and not all the other rebbe's and the [21:47] kabbalists or whatever I went to and I [21:49] don't know at some point, not that I [21:50] went I never ran around to kabbalists, [21:51] but but I had other access to big [21:53] rabbonim. No, it wasn't the rav, it was [21:55] some CEO. [21:57] It undid me. And I burst into tears. I'm [22:00] totally unprofessionally, was so not [22:02] like me to do that. And I said, "I try! [22:05] And some days I can, and some days I [22:06] can't, like accept and trust." He says, [22:10] "But just do it because it's a choice. [22:12] Trust is a choice." [22:14] And he said, "Go home and choose trust, [22:16] and watch what happens, cuz all Hashem [22:17] wants is our trust." [22:19] He said, "Watch what happens." [22:21] And I I was a mess. I was bawling. He [22:24] was like he pressed that button, some [22:26] nerve, and I The other two were like [22:28] literally wishing they were invisible. [22:30] They That was it. They were no longer in [22:31] the conversation. It was just me and him [22:32] about my personal life. We didn't [22:33] discuss all of me. Very unprofessional [22:35] meeting. [22:36] But I couldn't help it. And it's the [22:38] only time that ever happened. And [22:39] afterwards, [22:40] he said, "I like her. She's real. I want [22:42] to work with all of me." And he runs [22:43] out. [22:44] >> [snorts] [22:44] >> And I look at the chief of staff, and I [22:45] said, "I'm so sorry." [22:48] And he's just shaking his head laughing. [22:49] He said, "No, no, no. That was the [22:50] meeting." He goes, "That was the best [22:52] meeting we've had in 2 weeks, you know." [22:54] And [snorts] [22:55] it I mean, we we started working with [22:57] him in different ways, but for me, I [23:00] just stop weeping for a number of days, [23:02] but it wasn't sadness. I didn't know [23:03] what it was. It was a weeping and I felt [23:04] this rawness in my heart. Like something [23:06] had been ripped off or left to live. [23:08] This This felt like there was like I'd [23:09] never experienced this before. [23:11] And I went to um [23:13] my [snorts] rubs that week for Shabbat [23:15] in Philly and and I told him the story [23:18] and then I just did a meditation to [23:19] myself of like, yeah, like just one of [23:21] those moments of honesty with yourself. [23:24] Where you say [23:25] you ask yourself a question and you're [23:26] really honest. Not always that we can be [23:28] so honest with ourselves even. [23:30] But I remember thinking, why can't I [23:31] trust? [23:32] Why can't I trust? [23:35] And back came this little voice because [23:37] you're judging yourself as a failure and [23:39] you're blaming Hashem for it. [23:41] And I was like [23:43] wow. I was like I I had this epiphany. [23:45] I'm doing this to myself. I'm judging [23:47] myself as feeling a loser, a nebach [23:49] because I'm not married, but I'm [23:51] blaming, how could you do this do this [23:52] to me? But really the this was I was [23:55] feeling so bad about myself. [23:57] And I realized this is a singles [23:59] problem really across the board this I [24:00] that I work with now, but that I was [24:03] really doing it to myself because I was [24:04] buying into all the judgment and all the [24:05] fear. [24:07] And I made a decision at that point and [24:09] I said I'm not doing that anymore. [24:10] That's it. I'm no matter what happens, [24:12] I'm not doing that. I am not judging [24:14] myself anymore. I am not less than [24:15] because I'm not married. I am not [24:17] unlovable. I am not not good enough. I [24:19] am not There's nothing wrong with me [24:21] because I'm not married. [24:22] And I said I That's it. I I'm not doing [24:24] that to myself again. It was a very deep [24:26] decision. And then I turned to Hashem [24:28] and said, and if this is not what I [24:29] want, but if it's what you want, what [24:31] what the CEO said, if it's what you [24:33] want, I'll I'll do my best with it, but [24:34] it will break my heart. And I was so [24:36] sincere. I was bawling my eyes out. I'm [24:38] like, this is not what I want, but if [24:40] it's what you want [24:41] I will try. [24:43] And the next day my husband was [24:45] suggested. [24:47] >> Wow. [24:47] >> That was the turning point. That was the [24:49] mind-blowing [24:50] revelation about how much power we [24:52] actually Hashem gives us to co-create [24:54] our lives with him. That it really [24:56] really does depend on the vessel that we [24:58] show up with, even though everything's [25:00] up to Hashem and he can give us whatever [25:02] he wants when he wants. We have to be a [25:04] vessel. And my judgment and negativity [25:07] was making myself small, very, very [25:09] small. [25:10] And I didn't even realize I was doing [25:11] that. Is that the reason I wasn't [25:14] married? Oh, that's the reason No, we [25:15] don't know that. Most of my dating life, [25:17] my husband was married. [25:19] So, you know, he's definitely my Like [25:21] there's no So, we I I'm just I'm saying [25:23] that because I get hesitant I get scared [25:25] because people hear one thing and go, [25:26] "Oh, that's it." No, there's not one [25:28] quick fix. This was [clears throat] a an [25:30] akuda that was a very big one for me and [25:31] my growth that needed to happen. And it [25:33] allowed for me to be a bigger vessel to [25:35] receive, but it's not necessarily the [25:36] reason that [25:38] you know, we didn't get married earlier, [25:39] let's say. [25:40] >> Right. It's so funny cuz literally [25:42] yesterday my my rav was speaking and he [25:43] mentioned this idea that naturally, like [25:47] we we all do that naturally, like we're [25:49] trying to be in control and navigate our [25:51] life. And we see ourselves as big and [25:54] Hashem is the small the small thing in [25:56] our life. And it's really the reverse. [25:58] Like Hashem's the big thing and we're [25:59] the small thing. And we want to attach [26:00] to the the big and and you know, it's [26:03] it's just popping that bubble of [26:06] >> of of letting go. It's really letting go [26:08] and surrendering. [26:09] That that's really what happened at [26:10] least in that moment. I mean, it's a [26:11] lifelong avodah and I'm prac- I wish I [26:13] had it in every area of my life now, [26:14] which I didn't, but I felt like I got [26:16] into the right place at the right time [26:17] for a moment and Hashem gave me the [26:19] bracha, all right? Like because of that. [26:21] And that's really what I teach singles [26:23] now. I I believe that's the best [26:24] hishtadlus to do. That hishtadlus is [26:26] more than running around to shidduch [26:28] hunts and what You still need to do that [26:29] practical hishtadlus, but [26:32] it's the inner it's the inner. And and [26:34] it's visceral. Has to be visceral. You [26:36] have to feel like Hashem's got your [26:37] back. And if you don't, then that's the [26:39] work we need to do. [26:40] >> Wow. [26:41] >> And and that's that was the pivotal [26:42] turning turning point. Um and it was [26:45] really clear he's my husband straight [26:47] away. [26:47] >> Is there is the Do you still are [26:49] connected to that CEO or [26:51] >> Oh, so when So, when we got engaged, [26:53] like we dated very short amount of time [26:55] and then like a few few months [26:57] and then but we knew really I I knew on [27:00] we've actually both knew on the second [27:01] day. We had a crazy dream that's a [27:02] different story. [27:03] Um which was weird, bizarre. [27:06] It's not my type at all to do to have [27:08] those signs of things but um where we [27:10] they flew him out because I that all of [27:12] me leadership a program happened in [27:14] Spain in Toledo and I was I was running [27:17] this program and they flew him out as a [27:20] surprise. Everyone knew except me. And [27:23] he was John Doe on the on the thing. [27:25] And he proposed to me in Spain as a [27:28] surprise. [27:29] Uh and when he proposed to me then uh we [27:33] called that CEO at 1:00 in the morning [27:34] from Spain and said, "Remember that? [27:36] Remember you made me cry?" [27:39] And uh he said, "Yeah." And he said, [27:41] "Well, we just got engaged." It was like [27:43] a few months later, 6 months later. And [27:45] he said, "Wait, what did I say?" [27:46] >> [laughter] [27:47] >> He didn't even remember what he said, [27:49] which means it was really [27:50] >> jump cut it in the whole thing. Right, [27:51] it was very clear. [27:52] >> That's wild. [27:52] >> Okay, and and I think if we just ended [27:54] the episode there, it would be like, [27:56] "Great, that's that's wild, that's [27:57] beautiful, baruch Hashem." [27:58] >> [snorts] [27:59] >> But my personal favorite part of the [28:01] entire episode is coming up. But first, [28:03] you have heard me talk about Colel [28:04] Chabad Pushka app before. So, if you [28:07] still haven't downloaded it, here's my [28:10] pitch. [28:11] Just do it. To me, it is probably the [28:12] smartest way to ensure that you're [28:13] consistently giving tzedakah every day. [28:15] You download it once, set your [28:17] reminders, and now wherever you are, at [28:19] home, work, traveling, Israel, you'll [28:21] always have a pushka with you. And [28:23] that's the key. We all want to give more [28:25] tzedakah, but life gets busy and we [28:26] forget. The app removes that excuse. It [28:28] reminds you to give in seconds, and you [28:30] will love knowing that tzedakah's [28:32] becoming a consistent part of your life. [28:34] And you will feel amazing knowing that [28:35] the tzedakah's going towards Colel [28:37] Chabad, helping the neediest people in [28:39] Israel. And they have been around for [28:40] over 200 years and your money is going [28:42] to the people who need it most. On the [28:44] Pushka app, you can start with just a [28:46] dollar a day, and it's not about how [28:47] much you give each time, it's about [28:48] becoming someone who gives every single [28:50] day. I don't know, give $500 a day for [28:52] all I care. So, don't just hear me talk [28:54] about it again. Take out your phone, [28:55] download the Colel Chabad PushGap app, [28:57] or you scan the QR code wherever it is [28:59] on the screen, set a reminder, and start [29:00] giving today. You download the app at [29:02] pushkapp.cc/inspo, [29:05] of course click the link in the show [29:06] notes. Now, if you're looking to lease a [29:08] car, there's a reason Wheels Leasing is [29:09] the number one leasing company in the [29:11] tri-state area, according to me. They [29:13] don't just get you into a car, they take [29:15] care of you throughout the entire [29:16] process, from helping you find the right [29:18] vehicle, getting you a great deal, to [29:20] answering your questions, and making the [29:21] entire experience as easy-peasy as [29:24] possible. Their team is there for you. [29:26] So, give Sol a call at 718-871-8715, [29:29] go to email inspire@wheelsleasing.com, [29:32] or you go to the website [29:33] wheelsleasing.com/inspire, [29:34] or you can send a WhatsApp to them. The [29:36] link is down below. Get the lease of [29:39] your dreams today with Wheels Leasing. [29:41] Now, we've flown El Al plenty of times, [29:44] but a few years ago, I decided to try [29:46] take another airline. [29:48] We're not making that mistake again. It [29:49] wasn't more reliable, the prices weren't [29:51] better, and the overall experience just [29:54] was not the same. I've got two trips to [29:56] Israel coming up. One is next week, [29:58] and the other in 3 months for some [30:00] really big in the news. And when I'm [30:01] traveling for work, I need reliability. [30:04] And I know that I'm getting the best [30:06] when it comes to El Al and going to [30:07] Israel. For me, El Al is the most [30:09] reliable way to get to Israel. They [30:11] understand the route, they understand [30:13] the Jewish traveler, and every time I [30:14] fly with them, the experience gets [30:16] better and better. And if Hanukkah in [30:18] Israel is even on your radar, now is the [30:21] time to book. Getting your tickets now [30:22] is a smart investment. You lock in your [30:24] trip early, and have one less thing to [30:26] worry about, and get the best prices as [30:28] Hanukkah gets closer. Whether you're [30:29] traveling for business, visiting family, [30:31] or spending Hanukkah in Eretz Yisrael, [30:33] fly El Al and travel with confidence. [30:36] Now, back to this week's episode. But, [30:38] we have another person here. [30:40] Could you tell us your [30:43] journey to Ariella? [30:47] >> Yeah, I mean [30:50] I think once I'd surrendered getting [30:51] married about getting married, this was [30:54] much easier cuz that was really where I [30:55] was in the the sort of swamp of darkness [30:58] and despair with being single. [31:00] And [31:01] dealing with those deeper deeper [31:03] feelings. And then once we got to this [31:04] was like I'd frozen my eggs, which I [31:06] highly highly highly recommend that [31:08] singles do to take the pressure off. [31:10] Really. And I had frozen my eggs but in [31:13] my mid-30s cuz that back then it wasn't [31:16] so common. [31:17] Um [31:19] and 14 years later we went back [31:22] to use those eggs. Like it was [31:24] unbelievable and [31:26] we [31:27] we've been married 5 years. We didn't do [31:29] it in the first 5 years because A, there [31:31] was a lot going on in in our personal [31:33] lives and I didn't think we had the [31:34] bandwidth for it. [31:36] Uh [snorts] and it just it just it just [31:38] didn't happen. Hashem had the perfect [31:40] perfect timing. [31:41] Uh and we went back 14 years later and [31:44] we had [31:45] one shot, one viable embryo. [31:49] Uh [31:50] and we knew that this was like the vial [31:52] one vial of oil. [31:53] Literally like Hashem, here's the little [31:56] piece of his dollas of the natural world [31:57] that you that you need to make it seem [32:00] like it looks natural. But we knew this [32:04] is such a long shot in a way. Like it's [32:06] such a miracle that [32:09] this one vial of oil is up to you [32:10] whether you want to, you know, [32:13] bring this down. And we were very [32:15] surrendered. Meaning we were like we [32:17] really want this but whatever you want. [32:19] And I really feel that that's been the [32:20] learning for me over and over again is [32:22] that [32:23] firstly trying to internalize Hashem has [32:25] really got my back and he's really our [32:27] father. Really really really our father [32:29] loves us very much. And only once you [32:32] have really [32:33] worked on that and have that at some [32:34] level this really in your body, which is [32:37] obviously still a lifelong process, [32:39] then you can really surrender to [32:41] Malkenu, which is that you're the king [32:43] and you're ruling my life and you your [32:45] decisions are what's best. And the [32:46] reason why I was struggling with it that [32:47] so much when I was single is cuz I [32:49] didn't have the Avinu piece in there. I [32:51] was only trying to just accept this is [32:52] what you want, but I felt like he was [32:54] punishing me. And I think that's very [32:55] common. I think a lot a lot of people [32:57] feel like Hashem's somehow punishing me [32:59] or I'm something wrong with me. I did [33:01] something wrong. I'm bad. There's a deep [33:03] feeling of I'm bad is what I see [33:05] along all the different types of singles [33:08] I work with. That's common. [33:11] So, it's very important, I think, in our [33:13] generation to work on the fact that [33:14] Hashem loves us and he's [33:17] and and feeling that love first. And [33:19] then it becomes easier to surrender to [33:21] his decisions, especially if they're not [33:22] what we want. So, we were there at that [33:24] point and we said, "Whatever you want, [33:26] we want this, but like really, really [33:28] whatever you want. We'll accept it. [33:29] We'll accept if it's a no." [33:31] And again, I think that allows that [33:32] spaciousness of acceptance allows for a [33:35] bigger vessel. I don't know if that's [33:36] the reason or she obviously needs to [33:37] come down, [33:39] but [33:40] it it was absolutely we found out like [33:43] officially there was, you know, you get [33:44] a blood test result that's official [33:46] official Pesach. When the sea split was [33:48] the time of the email that came from the [33:49] clinic. [33:51] And uh [33:53] it you know, we were just blown away [33:54] when we realized the the timing and the [33:56] day that Hashem was revealing himself to [33:58] us. And then she was born at Hanukkah, [34:00] of course, which was literally the the [34:02] oil. She was the she was the oil. And uh [34:05] it's been the most unbelievable joyous [34:07] gift ever. And uh I really hope she [34:09] gives She already has. I have got [34:11] thousands and thousands of messages [34:13] of people saying, "You don't know me, [34:15] but I was bawling my eyes out when I [34:16] heard your news. You don't know me, but [34:18] I was hysterical in Walmart when I read [34:19] on, you know," [34:21] So, she's been a light already to so [34:23] many. [34:24] And we named her Ariella because Ari is [34:26] my dad's name and Leah's was was my [34:27] mom's name. She passed away in COVID. [34:29] And uh Ariella Ariela is the same [34:32] letters and uh I said, you know, let's [34:34] just wait. My husband got that flash [34:36] actually four four or five months ago [34:37] before she was born. [34:39] And [34:40] uh [34:41] And I said, let's just wait and see what [34:42] her personality is. [34:44] And [snorts] cuz it's like a lioness. [34:46] She just smiled. It's so funny. Um like [34:48] a lioness of God, you know, Ariella [34:49] really means lioness of God. [34:51] And when she was born, [34:53] uh [34:54] she's still like I try and change her [34:56] diaper and she like straightens her legs [34:57] and she doesn't let me. And then she [34:59] relax when I relax, she lets me when she [35:01] wants it. And then passy, she's like, [35:02] "Mhm." [35:03] And then when I take the passy away, [35:04] she's like, "I'll do it on my time." All [35:06] right, okay, she's a lion. Like she [35:08] really is an Ariella. [35:09] So we named her Ariella. [35:11] >> What what would your parents say if they [35:12] were here to see her? [35:14] >> Well, it was so important to me to name [35:15] after my parents because there really is [35:17] no one else and uh [35:19] and [35:22] I think they would just get enormous [35:23] enormous nachas. I think there's [35:24] something with a very deep existential [35:26] angst in me that I wasn't creating a [35:27] legacy for my father particularly cuz he [35:29] was a Holocaust survivor. [35:32] I think that they are watching and they [35:33] are [35:34] they are seeing and uh [35:37] maybe maybe in their merit somehow that [35:38] she's here, but [35:40] it's it's like renewed life. It's it's [35:42] geshmak literally for me. [35:45] >> Do you look back at your life and and [35:49] you're still very young, so I'm assuming [35:50] you have a lot more to go, but the the [35:52] the life that you've had until now, do [35:54] you look back and and realize like, [35:57] "Okay, that's why everything was in the [36:00] moment it was at?" [36:02] >> It's it's the tapestry is revealed more [36:04] and more. [36:07] But I still I still feel like I'm in the [36:08] middle of the story. Uh but yes, looking [36:10] back, I don't know why the ages had to [36:12] be so late. Like why did I have to [36:14] become [36:15] from at 30 and not 20 25, you know, cuz [36:17] that would have made it easier, but as [36:19] my reb says, all of Israel needs [36:21] characters like this, you know, as in [36:23] they need the stories for the hope and [36:24] the whatever and maybe if it wasn't so [36:26] hard to believe, if it wasn't so [36:29] extreme, it might have been [36:31] not as big a deal. I don't know why. I'm [36:33] grateful I'm so so grateful that Hashem [36:36] has allowed me to [36:38] uh help others or be a light to others [36:40] in in the struggle and understanding [36:42] like I really feel with singles. The [36:44] reason why I went into working with [36:45] singles full-time, I made a deal with [36:46] God. I said, "If you get me married, [36:48] I'll help singles." Like as if he needs [36:49] my help. And but you might sometimes in [36:52] the darkness you make deals with God. [36:54] And after, you know, I was still working [36:56] in cure of and I thought, "Okay, I'll do [36:57] my classes my token thank you to God." [37:00] After I got married. [37:02] And I did a class called "There's [37:03] nothing wrong with you." A fresh [37:04] perspective on dating. And I did it in [37:06] partnership with SawYouAtSinai. [37:08] And we I think they just sent out one [37:09] email blast announcing it and 300 and [37:11] something people came. I was like, [37:13] "Woah." And halfway through a lot of [37:15] people were turning off their cameras. [37:16] It was on Zoom. I was like, "Ah, they're [37:18] bored. They're checking email." And [37:19] after that, 30 something people, so 10%, [37:22] emailed me privately and said, "I'm [37:24] sorry I turned my camera off. I was [37:25] absolutely bawling. No one speaks to us [37:26] this way." I said, "What way?" And they [37:28] were like, "Empowering. Like that [37:30] there's absolutely nothing wrong with [37:31] you." That there's nothing wrong with [37:33] you doesn't mean you don't have things [37:34] to work on and correct. I deal with that [37:35] all the time. We're working at the root [37:37] and the subconscious belief systems. [37:38] That's really why my thing is teaching [37:39] people how to tune into themselves. [37:41] But you got to start with Hashem loves [37:44] you and you're good and you're lovable [37:45] and worthy no matter what. [37:47] You don't need marriage for that. It is [37:49] such a myth. It is such a mistaken [37:51] belief. [37:52] You're good and you have to know you're [37:53] good because if you think there's [37:54] something wrong with you, then you date [37:55] from the place of there's something [37:57] wrong with me. I'm somehow I'm buying [37:59] into the I'm a nebach. I'm a loser. And [38:01] that just destroys the dating process. [38:02] You can't It's so full of fear and [38:05] So, [38:07] you know, I I I don't know. [38:09] Uh I don't know why it needed to happen. [38:11] I'm just grateful that Hashem has [38:12] allowed it to be a positive impact [38:15] on some level. [38:17] >> It's just wild to think that like you in [38:19] your stage right now like [38:21] imagine like you your 25-year-old self [38:23] would see your life today. It's it's [38:25] just so different. [38:27] >> never have been anything I could have [38:28] ever imagined. Ever. And that's that's [38:31] what keeps me going when things happen [38:32] the way if it happened in a different [38:34] way that I don't want, I'm like, you [38:35] know, if you'd ever told me I would have [38:36] even been religious, I would have said [38:38] no way. If you'd ever, you know. [38:40] So, am I on some level, you know, sad [38:43] that I don't have a whole bunch of kids [38:45] running around and whatever? Yeah, am I [38:47] sad I'm going to be older mom? Yeah, you [38:49] know, but I'm not. Like it's it is what [38:51] it is. It's meant to be what it's meant [38:52] to be and [38:53] like I really really believe Hashem's [38:55] looking after me and he's looking after [38:56] all of us. [38:58] >> That's really beautiful. [38:58] >> Yeah. [38:59] >> In terms of in terms of [39:01] the coaching that you do, who's who's [39:04] like the [39:05] typical kind of person who reaches out [39:08] and also for someone watching if they're [39:10] like, [39:10] "She's awesome. I let me be connected." [39:13] What's the best way they could find you? [39:15] >> Yeah, I typically deal with we just [39:16] started working with men, too. [39:18] With but they I think mostly one-on-one. [39:21] I have a whole course that I do with [39:23] with for women, but the course is not [39:24] group therapy. No one's going around [39:25] telling their personal stories. It's [39:26] really teaching people a method of how [39:28] to tap into what's really going on under [39:30] the surface. Like if you just get like [39:32] anxiety in your gut or you just feel [39:34] like you dread dating or you [39:37] you have one-and-dones constantly and [39:38] you don't know why or you're not getting [39:39] any dates. Like I hate to say it, it's [39:41] not just because it's the shidduch [39:42] crisis. This is like firstly, there's no [39:44] such thing, whatever. [39:46] I mean, there might be statistically, [39:47] but for you personally, there isn't. [39:49] That's what, you know, that's really the [39:50] truth. And so, [39:53] we have to look inside. I really believe [39:54] the patterns in our dating. I deal with [39:56] singles probably the ages of mid to late [39:58] 20s, early 30s to mid 30s. So, mid 20s [40:01] to mid 30s are my bulk who are dating [40:04] and dating is not happening and I really [40:06] feel that it's part of Hashem showing [40:08] part of our tikkun that we need to do. [40:10] Not then you'll get married once that [40:12] because we don't know. I don't play God. [40:15] But you can't ignore it. You can't [40:17] ignore the inner hishtadlus. You have to [40:18] do spiritually hishtadlus, bitachon, and [40:20] tefillah. You have to do your practical [40:21] hishtadlus, and you have to do your [40:22] inner hishtadlus. And yes, other people [40:24] get married without it, but if you're [40:26] not married yet, and you haven't done [40:27] this work, I really believe it's a [40:28] chiyuv for all of us, because anyway, a [40:30] Jew is meant to always grow. [40:32] And so, so often there's levels of [40:34] tikkunim to do, and things to shift [40:37] internally that are around our belief [40:39] systems, and about how we feel, and [40:40] about building that vessel. And for many [40:43] of them, not all, but many, once they [40:45] start to shift that, then amazing dates [40:47] come in. It's not magic. It's not a [40:49] quick fix. It's a work in progress. And [40:52] I many I get many many notices of I'm [40:53] engaged, I'm engaged, I'm engaged, like [40:55] a few number of months after the [40:56] program, that say I I don't know if I [40:58] could have done this without knowing [40:59] myself more deeply. The biggest two [41:02] goals that people come in with, which is [41:03] cross the board, the same thing, [41:05] self-worth and self-trust. [41:08] Meaning, [clears throat] [41:08] there's a lack of self-worth. I don't [41:10] feel worthy without being married, and I [41:12] don't trust myself in the [41:13] decision-making process. Like I ran [41:15] around ruminating, ruminating around, [41:16] asking lots of friends and rebbe's and [41:18] and rebbetzins and and I I don't really [41:20] What do you think? What do you think? [41:21] What do you But no one can tell you who [41:22] to marry. No one can tell you not to [41:23] marry. You have to decide it, but if you [41:25] don't know how to decide, and you don't [41:26] trust yourself, you're in you're in a [41:27] you're in trouble. You got to work out [41:29] how to be in tune with yourself. [41:30] >> I wish I would have done your thing. I [41:32] mean, I bought some I'm happily married, [41:34] but it it's skill sets that you don't [41:36] get. [41:37] >> It's not just for marriage. Yeah, I [41:38] mean, I now I've got since the baby I've [41:40] had [41:40] >> Have you had married people that that [41:42] done it? [41:42] >> had married people and many married [41:43] women now come and say or they say I I [41:45] want to have children. Firstly, I'm not [41:47] It's This is not a fertility course or a [41:49] dating course. It just is That's the [41:50] test Hashem's put you in at the time to [41:52] do this deeper work. It's a symptom of [41:55] It's or it's the issue that Hashem's [41:56] given you. But like, Hashem keeps [41:58] putting us in test after test after test [42:00] of the unknown, the uncertainty, from [42:03] single, married, are you going to get [42:04] married? Are you going to have kids? [42:06] When are you going to have kids? Are the [42:06] kids going to be healthy? What How What [42:08] about difficult kids? Like, every stage [42:10] of life we're always in a in a stage of [42:11] unknown, uncertainty, and the biggest [42:14] tragedy people could make is just to [42:15] say, "Oh, it'll happen when it happens, [42:17] but like I'm not going to do the work." [42:19] Do the work. Do the work. It doesn't [42:20] have to be with me. Do it with whoever. [42:22] Do the inner work and get someone to [42:24] come work at the subconscious level. [42:25] That's the key. You know, talk therapy's [42:27] good to a point. It's insightful, gives [42:29] you awareness. Sometimes that's enough [42:31] to bring consciousness to something. [42:32] Often it's not. Most of my clients say, [42:34] "I've done therapy and it was good to a [42:36] point, but I still can't change how I [42:38] feel." [42:39] And that's because it's happening at the [42:40] body visceral level. [42:42] And the the body is a reflection of [42:44] what's going on in the subconscious. [42:46] The subconscious is part of the brain [42:47] we're not aware of. And you have to [42:49] learn how to tap into that, which you [42:50] can. The average person can. That's what [42:52] I teach people. I I should going to show [42:53] you how to connect to your subconscious [42:55] through the sensations and the emotions [42:57] in your body, and then you're going to [42:58] be able to process them and dialogue and [42:59] have a relationship with yourself and to [43:01] start accepting and liking and and [43:03] loving all the parts of yourself so that [43:06] you can then work with them. Cuz if [43:07] you're rejecting parts of us Am I [43:08] getting too deep here? But like okay, [43:11] but if you if you if you start if you [43:12] reject parts of yourself, if we reject [43:14] parts of ourselves, it's like putting [43:16] parts of ourselves into gallus. [43:18] And when you're in gallus, you're in [43:19] gallus. It's you're stuck. What we want [43:22] to do is go back and start to look at [43:23] all the parts and bring them together [43:25] and with sense of actus internally, and [43:27] that creates the shift that you need to [43:29] become that bigger vessel. And so we [43:32] really want to confront any parts of us [43:33] that we that they can be hijacking our [43:35] lives from the darkness, hijacking, [43:37] self-sabotaging over and over again. If [43:39] you know yourself sabotage. If you have [43:41] the same pattern over and over again, [43:42] you're the common denominator of that [43:44] pattern. [43:45] And so that means that's the work that [43:46] you need to do. It's a good thing, not a [43:47] judgmental thing. You got to get out of [43:49] judgment. So the first thing I teach [43:50] people is is to approach yourself with [43:52] compassionate curiosity, [43:54] which I will teach Ariela as soon as [43:56] >> [laughter] [43:56] >> You know what? I I think she [43:58] Yeah, could could maybe she wants to [44:00] like, you know, be on the mic. So many [44:02] people probably like [44:04] look at her like they're [44:06] like they're part of like the Nace over [44:08] here, no? Like [44:09] >> Who's part of the Nace? [44:10] >> Like they they don't even know you, but [44:12] they see you and they see that that [44:14] she's here and like [44:15] >> Yeah, I thought that. Yeah. Are you [44:17] cold? [44:18] >> She's really cute. For those listening [44:20] I can confirm she's very cute. [44:22] >> She's very cute. Hi Bubba. [44:24] >> So the the your course if some Is there [44:27] a link? Is there a Where can [44:28] >> Instagram is probably for those on [44:29] Instagram. Instagram's good. We'll link [44:31] and anything you're saying Bubba. then [44:33] the inner circle is a website we can [44:34] give you as well for the [44:36] You can find me on jackieglazer.com. [44:38] It's just not I don't know if it's so up [44:39] to date with this specific course that [44:41] I'm doing and everything, but you can [44:42] find me there jackieglazer.com or [44:43] Instagram dating by Jackie G. [44:46] >> Amazing. [44:47] Jackie Glazer, Ariella Glazer, thank you [44:49] so much for doing this. [44:50] >> Thank you for having me. [44:52] Appreciate it. Oop. [44:53] >> Thank you so much for watching or [44:54] listening to this week's episode. If you [44:56] enjoyed the episode, please leave a [44:58] mazel tov for the Glazers on the birth [45:00] of their daughter. Yes, this episode was [45:02] recorded a bit ago, but definitely go [45:04] check out Mrs. Glazer's latest courses, [45:07] some fantastic stuff. Thanks again to [45:08] our friends at LL, Cole Chabad, We Also [45:11] Eat, Primal Chris, JWEDD, and BF Design. [45:15] Now, here's my takeaway. There's always [45:17] a balance we're supposed to live with. [45:19] We have to do our hishtadlus. We have to [45:21] make the calls, put ourselves out there, [45:23] work hard, take the steps that are in [45:25] our control. But hishtadlus doesn't mean [45:27] we control what happens next. And [45:29] Jackie's story shows that so powerfully. [45:32] She did [music] what she could to find [45:33] her husband. She tried, she hoped, and [45:36] she put in the effort. But at some [45:37] point, she had to let go and trust [45:39] Hashem. And that's when her family began [45:41] to grow. She found her husband, then [45:43] came the next chapter. She wanted a [45:45] child and once again, there was [45:47] hishtadlus. There was effort and hope [45:49] and trying and once again, she reached [45:51] the point where she had to let go. Then [45:54] came her daughter. Sometimes we think [45:56] letting go means giving up, and it [45:57] doesn't. We do everything we can, and [45:59] when And act and then when we recognize [46:02] that the rest [music] was never in our [46:03] hands. Jackie did her part, then she let [46:06] Hashem take the wheel. And sometimes, [46:08] that's when the road finally opens up. [46:10] This episode is a reminder that [46:12] inspiration [music] [46:13] is everywhere. L'Chaim. [46:15] Living L'Chaim.
